Leaving Las Vegas

After spending a week in Las Vegas, I was more than ready to go home. Instead of gambling or touring the casinos and admiring the splendor of all that man can create with lots of money and imagination, I spent my time caring for two little kids. Their single mom had to work and the preschool they attend was closed for the week. So, I changed diapers and wiped noses and watched kid TV and played in the park and found heart shaped rocks in the gravel. It was the perfect way to spend the week between Christmas and New Year's Eve.

I had a chance to see a little bit of Las Vegas though. One morning we went out for coffee and at the table beside us was a very glammed up mom, mascara smudged and looking weary from a night's work, feeding her two little kids bagels and hoping the coffee she was drinking would be enough to get her through her day.

Even on the strip, where Christmas lights sparkled, there was a weariness, a heaviness. People made up, botoxed, and fake-smiling. Small children misbehaving and paraded around in fancy clothing. Lines of people waiting for Santa photos at the mall.    

I had to look closely for Christmas this year. But it did come unexpectedly in the laughter of a young child enjoying her gingerbread cookie. It came in a piece of art I found on a wall and in the heart shaped clouds rising in the distance as we drove out of the city. Love exists in "sin city". You just have to look closely.

My Christmas Apron

This Christmas was different than any other year. We were unsure of our plans until the day before Christmas Eve and so a lot of things got done at the last minute, or did not get done at all. At first, I felt kind of left out of Christmas all together, but then I just decided to take what there was and work with it. I managed to get cards out, but not much else. It felt strange not to bake or shop or create anything.

The day we were leaving to drive from San Diego to Las Vegas, a package arrived in the mail. I threw it into the car with the hastily packed bags and planned to put it under the tree. When the gift giving was going on, we were so caught up in the joy and merriment of the children, we didn't even notice that we had not packed all the gifts for each other and it turned out that the gift from the mail was my only gift to open on Christmas morning. When I opened it, it was a wonderful Christmas apron sent with love from my sister.
Along with the gift was a story about all the things that an apron could do. As it turned out, I did end up using mine as a protection for my dress, as a potholder, and to transport bits and pieces from place to place.

I am not at all sad that this was my only gift I opened on Christmas day. It was exactly what I needed to feel Christmas-y. Thanks sweet sister!

Yes!




  "i thank You God for most this amazing
day: for the leaping greenly spirits of trees
and a blue true dream of sky and for everything
which is natural which is infinite which is yes"
-e.e. cummings

Changes

"The old year has gone. Let the dead past bury its own dead. The new year has taken possession of the clock of time. All hail the duties and possibilities of the coming twelve months!"
-Edward Payson Powell




 It is New Year's Eve and time to make resolutions. Changes to make.

I will be glad to say adios to 2011. I will be very happy to say good-bye to a year that was difficult at times and a lot more about survival than thriving. 

So what changes do I make to move from survival to thriving???

Dance more, sing off-key to the radio in the car, ease up on myself and everyone else, be gracious, be more generous, wait patiently in lines, say thank you for every gift-even smiles and people being patient with me, create whenever possible, say hello without worrying about reactions, take risks occasionally, open myself to every possibility.  

A Visit with a Friend

In the middle of this busy week, I went to visit a friend after work. Her house was beautifully decorated for the holidays-handmade presents under the tree, craft projects she and her son had made scattered about, and light pouring in the windows. Over a cup of tea, we talked incessantly about everything under the sun. We could have gone on for hours without pause.
Her sweet son woke up from his nap with a smile that could melt even the hardest of hearts. He is good at jokes even though he is only four years old. He gets what is funny. He finds joy in the sound of words. He laughed at the word "picky". He joined our conversation intelligently ( uncommon for a four year old normally) without interrupting-a common thing in children who haven't mastered the pause and turn taking in conversation. 
He expressed a generosity of spirit that comes from being raised by parents who are loving and intentional in their parenting.
He stayed and kept me company while his mom went and gathered avocados from their tree for me to take home. We laughed about creating a "desk-tidy" from toilet paper rolls and we talked about Christmas.
I gathered my avocados and felt the warmth of that visit all the way home. 

Joyful Song

"So she poured out the liquid music of her voice to quench the thirst of his spirit. " ~Nathaniel Hawthorne

Song is in the air. Singing is everywhere. Even last night when we were touring the streets in San Diego where everyone goes overboard with the lights and decor, several houses had large screen tvs set up outside with karoke Christmas songs and children and adults were singing with microphones. Most were off key.

Occasionally, there is a voice that is so sweet and pure, it has you stop in your tracks.  And it quenches the thirst of the spirit. I heard a child singing quietly to herself in the corner of my classroom this week. She was on key-hitting all the right notes-and not even three years old. I stopped what I was doing to listen. The junk inside me subsided. The angst ball moving toward me rolled away. There was no brilliant light pouring into the room coupled with the hallelujah chorus, but I didn't need that. The sweet notes coming from the corner were enough to soothe my weary soul. 

Cards in the mail

I love this time of year- especially when the cards start to arrive in the mail. It is so amazing these days to get a card  because a lot of people have given up on that tradition. The email cards are cute, but nothing like the real ones you can hold in your hand.

 I am making most of the ones I am sending this year partly because I have a hard time finding ones in the store that have a good message inside and partly because money is scarce. I also enjoy the surge of creativity and using up scraps of fabric and paper to create cards unlike any other. This year, I am keeping it simple, wishing family and friends the simplest part of the Christmas message:

Joy

Peace

Good News

Love unconditional for all mankind

Hope

I will treasure each card as it arrives. Each year there are fewer.  People are busy and writing out cards takes time and a little effort, but how sweet it is to find a hand written card in the middle of that pile of bills and junk mail! 

Restraint

"If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal."

I Corinthians 13: 1(NIV)

Sometimes holding back or not saying or doing something can be the best way to show love. Restraint. Reeling in impulsive words before they are cast out from my mouth is often a challenge for me.

Working with children makes me very aware that what I say really does matter. Sometimes a lot. Very young children who attune better than I imagine are good at games where four or five children say their favorite color or food and then are asked what the other's choice was. In spite of the egocentric way most children relate to the world, they hear and remember things well and can easily name each of their friends favorite food-even if they have a lot of friends.

So lately, I have been trying to listen to myself more. Have I become a clanging cymbal crashing thoughtless words while others cringe at the sound? I have been famous in the past for putting my foot in my mouth. Saying something stupid or regrettable or unkind or just unnecessary? 

My Christmas gift this year to friends and family will be wrapped with a ribbon of restraint. A little less thoughtless chatter. A little less explanation. A little less resounding gong.

Abundance

"Not what we have but what we enjoy, that constitutes abundance."-Epicurus

                                                                                                                                                                                              A short walk and there is a lovely bird of paradise! Grapefruit in abundance, branches bending from the weight. I live in a place that is not my home. i am a visitor here, my real home thousands of miles away. A whole country away actually. There are deserts and mountains, huge rivers, plains, and large cities between me and my home. But I am learning to be content. I take a walk for a very short distance and I find abundance. 

It is coming on Christmas and people are half-heartedly putting up lights in the neighborhood, The air is cool but not cold like it is at my home. It is warm during the days which makes me feel better than when it stays cold all day. Fruit trees are laden and heavy with citrus. Though it is winter, flowers are still in bloom. So even with the neighbor's lights, it doesn't really feel like Christmas. But the abundant beauty makes me feel the Christmas Spirit. In spite of the sad state of our economy, there is a feeling of expectation. A hope that things will get better. A willingness to put up lights and trees and to celebrate a little. Seasons come and seasons go, but each one has its own special beauty. Abundance is all around in spite of poverty. I am thankful that the walk is short to find it.  

Waiting

Someday it will all come together
But for now I am waiting.
Someday my Prince will come
But for now I will become a princess.
Someday my ship will come in 
But for now I will swim everyday.
Someday I will feel better
But today I will do my best.
Someday I will be rich and happy, 
But today I will be thankful for what I have.-JBL

Life is funny that way. Things come and go. Friends come and most often stay. But when they go, the time they were there is worth it in the end because of who I became when I was their friend. Loss happens. Life is short. And the wheel of life is always turning. Waiting around for things to improve is not always the best use of time. Maybe things will get better. The economy might improve. My credit score will go up. My work will get easier. My relationships less stressful. But then things might not ever improve. Or I might have to wait a long time before I see any changes. 

 My work is to do my best, to practice kindness, and to take care of the things that matter. Someday I will discover that living in the moment, making the best use of my time and energy, and paying attention to that still small voice will be the best kind of waiting.       
   

Absolutely!

I love the word absolutely. I love its meaning and the sound it makes when when you say it with emotion. I love the solidness of the word. To say you absolutely love someone or something is to say it with conviction.

I absolutely love my children. I absolutely love my family. I absolutely love warmth, lobster, lilacs, my home, and the joy of creating something. But I haven't used that word much in conversations lately.

It's a word I don't often use around

strangers or acquaintances.

That kind of conviction can be off putting. 

But it is such a great word and yet it should

not be used frivolously. I want to find a good
reason to use that word sometime soon.
I want to be absolutely in love with life and to
feel the convictions of my youth.
I want to believe absolutely, to love absolutely,
to trust absolutely. 

"If you want to do great things, you absolutely have to do something that you love doing."
-Don Burnette

Moon Sliver and Venus

 Tonight is Nov 27, 2011

This is how I saw the sky tonight just after sunset

Venus bright and a sliver of moon

Trees aglow with color from setting sun

After a warm sunny southwest day

Takes a lot for me to believe this is the result of a big bang 

The sliver and planet close enough to touch

The trees so filled with color and light

The Hand of the Artist so apparent.

Christmas Sewing

The day after Thanksgiving was always my sewing day. No Black Friday frenzied shopping for me, I would pull out all my accumulated fabric, patterns, trims and buttons. Then I would think about who I wanted a gift for and start pairing fabrics and ideas. A large piece of heavy denim would become a log carrier for the in-laws. Muslin would become landscape pillows for close friends, and printed cottons would become dresses for my daughter. It was a time before electronics and when homemade gifts were appreciated and cherished. 
    




                                                                          I found this photo in an old sewing book and it made me laugh. I hope my creations were not as tacky as this. I'd like to think they were a bit more artistic or inventive. I would cover the floor and every available surface with fabric and then go crazy-sometimes late into the night. I haven't done that for years, but I miss the joy of creating. Maybe after the hoopla of Black Friday dies down, I will find a local small fabric store and seek inspiration. But I promise I wont buy large quantities of plaid and denim.   

Enough

"I pray you have enough sun to keep your attitude bright no matter how grey the day may appear. I pray you enough rain to appreciate the sun even more. I pray you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive and everlasting. I pray you enough pain so that even the smallest of joys in life appear even bigger. I  pray you enough gain to satisfy your wanting. I pray you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess. I pray you enough hellos to get you through to the final good-bye."-Author unknown

A friend sent this little poem in a letter and it got me thinking about the word enough. 
Last year, when we were in between jobs, this little tree was all that we had for Christmas. We took it to the beach and the wind blew away the few ornaments we had placed on the tree. What was left was enough. It was enough to remind us how very fortunate we were to have this little tree, a sunny (but windy) day, and each other.

At this time of year, as we approach Thanksgiving, it is easy to lose sight of what exactly is enough. Time is one of the those things we never seem to have enough of. Even more so for some of us, there never seems to be enough money. We never have enough time with family and friends. But I want to remember that I do have enough. I have all that I need and even when I don't always have all that I want or wish for, I do have enough. So, this Thanksgiving, I am giving thanks for having enough.  

Gazing

Gazing requires more than glimpsing. Paying attention requires more than a passing glance. Seeing dew on a dandelion or goodness in a person is the same thing. It means to put forth an effort, stooping down to really hear what is being said, to truly see what is revealed, to gaze longingly, deeply, and with open eyes.

We live in a world where images appear like blips. Data, messages, and news come at us like lightening. What we are subjected to on a daily basis often requires that we continuously filter out worthless thoughts, information, and images. Often it is at the expense of filling our heads with beauty, clarity, and thoughts that help us to grow, to learn about love, or to just become closer to becoming the person we were created to be. 

So ....does becoming better at paying attention to things like dew or other little details  mean that we lose sight of the big picture? The age old question of being unable to see the forest for the trees? I am not sure. Balance is always important. But my goal is to spend more time paying attention to possible cues, possible sources of delight, and to opportunities that just might point me in the direction of something I need to see. 

"All great and beautiful work has come of first gazing without shrinking into the darkness."John Ruskin

 

Warmth and Laughter

The sun shines most of the time in southern California. Today was no exception. It was warm and sunny just like it is most days here. The loveliness is that my job allows me to enjoy a good part of my day basking. Sitting on a swing with a child. Watching the antics of the snail who has become a pet. Laughing over silly jokes.
 When is a door not a door?
 When it is ajar. hahahahahaha.
The children laughing may not even know what ajar means but they laugh anyway. Because that is what children do- a lot.


I am not always in on their private jokes. But sometimes I am included and expected to laugh along with them. Which I do-willingly. Because joy is healing and it feels great to be in on a good joke. Life only has to be this simple. Making it more complicated just feels like an unnecessary effort somehow.
So go ahead, Live, Laugh, Bask. 

Shooting Stars

Falling light, against black makes me wonder always
About my smallness and the world's largeness.

I see shooting stars often. I don't make a wish always
But I stop and wonder how like that light is my wee plight.

Falling and then gone. A figment of my immagination-perhaps.
No, the light was there if only for a tiny moment. And I know it was.

Sunrise

The sun comes up every day. Some days it is a bit more spectacular than others.

I took these photos at the lake just a short walk from my house.

The sky colors were amazing. This freshly put away dock showed green algae from the summer soak.

The reflection in the window of the cabin does not even begin to show the spectacularness of the sky.
It is just a tiny glimpse of sky blue pink. Framed just right.

The glimpses we get are often glints and glimmers. The combination of color is often enough to set the tone for the day.


"I looked up at the sky. The cloud cover had vanished. But for a few wisps on the horizon, the sky was clear. It would be another hot, rainless day."
-from The Life of Pi" by Yann Martel

Eleven

11-11-11

"Antiquities authorities in Egypt closed the largest of the world-famous Giza pyramids Friday after rumors circulated that religious groups would be holding spiritual ceremonies on the site at 11:11 a.m. to mark the rare date – 11/11/11." -  AP


A rare date, a day to thank our veterans, a day off, a day to sleep in perhaps.
But what else?
Well, some think a day for magic.

Some who believe in numerology or other spiritual things see the number 
eleven as having specific meaning.

But even this day will pass and tomorrow will be a new day and the rareness of today will pass as well.  And the magic meant for today alone will not come again until another rare date comes along (some think..).

I don't think real magic is limited to numerals and numerology, because magical things can happen any day. 

I happened to look at the time on the microwave today when I was warming up last night's pizza and amazingly, it was 11:11 on 11-11-11.
That was so magical that I made a wish. I hope it comes true.

Mountain Dance

Come Fairies, take me out of this dull world, for I would ride with you upon the wind and dance upon the mountains like a flame!

 -William Butler Yeats

JBL

Sometimes the mundane repetitive events of life make me yearn for an escape. It was a windy day today and I had moments of wishing that I could be carried away on the wind and softly dropped on a mountain top. The weariness that has settled in my bones is beginning to take a toll on my thoughts. It has been a while since I have danced on the mountains like a flame. Even in my thoughts. 

    I listened to the sweet laughter of my young students this morning and was reminded of the research that found that children laugh an average of 100 times a day! And adults? Five or six times a day. And that is on a good day!  So what is about children that they can find so much that is funny in one day? And why are grown-ups so serious? Do we need to get up on that mountain more often? Why can't we allow ourselves more joyful moments?

Come fairies! I need a dance on that mountain top!

Details

                                                                                              
I noticed the way the sun felt cold this morning and then was warm as the day opened up. I noticed the sweetness of the sound of a child's laughter, so spontaneous and uncontrived. I was aware of the many colors of grey in pebbles and the blue grey in my aging hands. I felt the air change as the sun set and the darkness make me shiver. All the tiny details of my day. A grove of trees on a hill sporting colors of Autumn in a place where the seasons don't really present themselves with much flamboyance. 

I was lucky today. I got to have many chances to live in the moment. Watching. Observing. Listening. Feeling. It is rare in the rush and push of these times. Experiences are blips and flashes of light. Today though, I was able to slow things down and just enjoy small bits and pieces. Like sunlight on hair, language emerging, and warm wind.  Ah, yes. 

Doubt (or faith)

"I'll be honest about it. It is not atheists who get stuck in my craw, but agnostics. Doubt is useful for a while. We must all pass through the garden of Gethsemane. If Christ played with doubt, so must we. If Christ spent an anguished night in prayer, if he burst out from the Cross, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? then surely we are also permitted doubt. But we must move on. To choose doubt as a a philosophy of life is akin to choosing immobility as a means of transportation."- from Life of PI by Yann Martel

This week, I doubted that God could or would come through for someone I love very much who was facing a very big challenge. I knew all the promises and the Bible verses to back up those promises, but when it came down to really trusting that He would come through- provide an option or two when there seemed to be none, I was Thomas the disciple- doubting Thomasina. 
I was hopeful, but that is not the same as truly trusting. Things were coming down to the wire, and I was feeling quite helpless, because I had no resources to be of any great help for this loved one of mine. So I told a few close friends about the situation and asked them to pray. I prayed too. And worried. And bargained and brainstormed. But it got to the place where I had no other options but to TRUST. Like the kind of trust that happens when you stand backwards to a friend who is supposed to catch you. Or like the kind of trust you need on your wedding day that the groom (or bride) will actually show up. But trusting God to come through for you or for a friend takes more than falling backwards and hoping someone catches you. It is a letting go of your doubt. Moving beyond it into taking God at his word. YIKES!   
The amazing thing is that He did come through. In unexpected ways and even with a few back-up plans. Now, the doubter might just say that the person facing the crisis became resourceful at the last moment. And there might be some truth to that. But it is not the whole picture. Because I witnessed first-hand the despair that was setting in. I recognised it as the dark cloud I had known at various times in my own life. 
In spite of my doubt, my friend's despair, and the economic situation at the present, God did come through. With flying colors. Despair turned to hopefulness. The dark cloud gave way to the sun, and though all is not perfectly well, it is so very much better than it was before. Will I learn my lesson the next time there is a crisis? I hope that I can really believe Psalm 46: "God is an ever present help in the time of trouble." 

Family Ties

                              Four of Six

"The family.  We were a strange little band of characters trudging through life sharing diseases and toothpaste, coveting one another's desserts, hiding shampoo, borrowing money, locking each other out of our rooms, inflicting pain and kissing to heal it in the same instant, loving, laughing, defending, and trying to figure out the common thread that bound us all together."
 ~Erma Bombeck


This week there were a lot of events that required our family to come together. Crisis situations required the prayers and counsel that only family members can provide. Birthdays, weddings, and doctor's appointments. Details of new jobs and medical treatments are all shared through the family grapevine. Stories and bragging and seeking approval and advice are all the stuff of our phone chats and letters. We still write real letters on paper and send through the mail. There is something magical about getting a thank you note or an invitation or a birthday card in the mail. It takes the sting out of the pile of bills. It is something real to hold in your hand and look at more than once. And it is becoming a rarer thing.

 Ok, I am now inspired to write some letters. 
I am going to buy some blank cards and begin my Christmas card making even though it is early in November.

Gramma's Gift

Gramma Maggie

In the 1960s, my grandmother drove across country from California to Maine in this car along with grampa, suitcases, and food to eat along the way, She also brought gifts gathered from lavender and cotton fields, sandy shores, and forest floors. Her gifts to me and my sisters were not from fancy stores, but samples from nature like huge pine cones, long shafts of lavender, and soft balls of cotton with the stems still attached. We were thrilled with these gifts, and we learned to sing this song as she told us about the cotton fields: 

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x2bwho_leadbelly-pick-a-bale-of-cotton_creation

Maggie Young (gramma to us) was a lucky way to grow up. She taught us about the vastness of the United States, the beauty of nature, and that a shell or a pine cone would make a perfectly lovely gift. That balls of cotton inspire learning of an old spiritual. That driving along endless highways with the one you love is a great adventure, and that sometimes just showing up is enough. Gramma never came to visit empty-handed, but instead brought the great gift of herself, orts from nature's beauty, and a song to share. Her experiences were her stories. And gramma was always willing to share all of who she was with six fortunate little girls.  

Home

HOME

This is not my home. It is just a home. Maybe somebody lives there. Maybe it is vacant. But it reminds me of what I imagine when I think of what a home is. A shelter from the storms of life, maybe with a great view, a place where people get together and share life. A place to read a book, get dressed, eat, cook a meal, stare into space, laugh with a friend, and to feel safe.
Today I visited the home of a friend. It was like being in a tree house. From the room where we shared a cup of tea and homemade bread, I could see the tops of trees and rooftops. I enjoyed laughter with her sweet son. I walked in the gardens as she picked avocados and persimmons for me to take home. It was visit that was short and sweet, but it felt like home should feel. 
Home should feel like gratitude.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j1Ij3rV_ZS4

Last Minute Halloween Costume

What do you do when you have to come up with a quick no-sew costume? Well, having very little money these days, I headed to the $ store to see just what I could come up with for under $10. It was fun, and I actually had conversations with fellow shoppers. One who thanked me for inspiring her! 

In the back of the $ Store is a large bin of clothing. From there, I got a large brown linen shirt and a yellow vest. Then I found some large fleece gloves and 3 elements for the halo- sparkly leaf garland, leaves, and a pre-made candle ring. So far, six dollars. There is a Michael's next door and I wanted some straw (a small bundle was $6.- on sale! ), so I headed for the artificial flowers and found this perfect sized bunch and brought it to the cashier for a price check. I was truly happy when it rang up for one penny! I didn't even have to use my 40% off coupon! Ha!

 I added a pair of moccasins, a flowy brown skirt and tights, and I will fix my face like a scarecrow, and voila! -harvest fairy scarecrow! 

So far, $6.01.

Well, when it was time to get ready,

 I gave up on the scarecrow part because I didn't want a smudgy make-up face, and because the straw kept coming out of the baggy shirt.

So, I ended up using the halo on my head, the sparkly garland as a belt, and added terra- cotta colored tights and a pair of purple shoes. I used the leaves to attach to the belt, button holes, and on my shoes.It actually came out OK for something so last minute and for so little money.

Birthday Girl

Today is my wonderful sister's sixtieth birthday. Six decades on planet Earth. I am only one of many who are so glad she was born! From the beginning of my life, Rosie was there to comfort, guide, encourage, and love me.  In this photo, taken in 1954, my sister's arms surround me-holding me securely and with a confidence most three-year olds don't possess. I am the very lucky little baby.

That confident little three year old grew into a remarkable woman. Not just for her accomplishments, but for the wonderful human being she is. Rosie's patients in Alaska will have stories of their own. Her husband and children and grandchildren also have their story. In fact, everyone fortunate enough to know Rosie will smile at the mention of her name.
But this is my story, and today I honor Rosemary on her 60th birthday with this tribute.

                                 Rosie and her husband Wayne on their son Ben's wedding day                                   

                                                  A song always in her heart
                                                  A smile always on her face
                                        A warm embrace at the ready
                                                  A willingness to listen to anyone
                                        A joy that comes from deep inside
                                                  Rosie is rosy and we are rosier too
                                        Because she was born on this day!


                             Happy birthday, sweet sister! I will celebrate you all day.  

  
  

The Wind

"Come Fairies, take me out of this dull world, for I would ride with you upon the wind and dance upon the mountains like a flame!" -William Butler Yeats
 

10-26-2011

Palm was dancing in the wind today 
Fronds bent by invisible force.
Moving gracefully, effortlessly, sadly.
Wind chimes tinkling like thoughts
Stirring up loose debris
Scattering, uprooting, and giving flight.

Inspired Art

To see a world in a grain of sand, and heaven in a wild flower; to hold infinity in the palm of your hand and eternity in an hour–is inspiration.’

— William Blake

I had a working interview today and only a half hour to win over children, teachers, and a possible employer. So yesterday, I went for a walk. I was looking for something to inspire an art project for children I had never met and knew nothing about. The bark of this tree was all over the dirt path and I knew that the children would at least find painting on bark, using bark as a painting tool, and making prints from bark at the very least to be something different, and at most  might prove to be a good sensory experience.

So I found some unused chopsticks and some painter's tape, and created painting tools. I also gathered some small limes that had fallen from a tree in the backyard and tried rolling them around in paint in a plastic shoe box. I gathered the handmade tools, some paint and a long roll of paper and found the perfect basket to carry all the materials.

When I got to the school for the interview, chatting with the children was easy. Two and three year olds are mostly a friendly lot, and curious, and interested in everything. I asked them to help me roll out the paper and tape it to the table. Then they sat down and I passed out the golf ball sized limes for them to smell. We put the paper in the shoebox and then chose a few colors of paint to squirt onto the paper. Each child had a turn to drop in their lime and move the box around to create a paintng. I was happy to see the level of engagement and the questions and comments from children just learning to speak! We moved on to the nature brushes and explored the different strokes and marks the paint made on paper. We tried mixing colors. One child made several shades of pink and showed me each variation in hue. Another began painting her hand and made a print on the paper and on the bark. The half hour went by quickly. I was amazed that I still had time to read a book and sing a few songs.

So, whether or not I get the job, I had a joyful experience creating art with a handful of toddlers.

Maybe someday when they are grown, and walking in the woods, they will remember that they once painted with paintbrushes made from leaves and bark, and pine needles. Or maybe they will be grown ups and show their own children how a piece of fallen bark inspires creativity. Some experiences stay in our memory and we wonder how we know things. I am hoping the children who painted with me today will know that bark makes a perfectly good canvas, and that rolling limes make swirling streaks of color.

Clouds

" May your trails be crooked, winding, lonesome, dangerous, leading to the most amazing view. May your mountains rise into and above the clouds." -Edward Abbey

I liked the way the clouds softened the edges of the trees and highlighted the leaves on the branches.  Clouds do that sometimes. Bright sunny days feel edgy at times. I feel like I have to do something when the sun is out. Cloudy days allow me to ease into my day. This photo was taken near dusk after a particularly edgy day. Kind of gave me hope that there might be a spectacular sunset. 


 

Wishing

I like to make a wish when I look at the sky. Shooting stars are best for wishes, but bright stars work well too. I have never kept track of my wishes or made a note of which ones have come true, but I distinctly remember a time in my life when I had been feeling homesick for Maine. Circumstances made the journey back a necessity and not a real choice. When I told a friend, his response was "Be careful what you wish for!"

So, does making a wish mean that it will come true? I guess it depends how much is actually invested in the wish! How much self-fulfilled prophecy is involved in a wish? Is a wish really an unspoken goal?  I know I will always wish I were smarter or prettier, or richer, or healthier, or funnier, or kinder, but I also wish I could make other people's wishes come true. People on the verge of big changes or at low places need their wishes and prayers to come true -at least occasionally. My wish is that all your most important wishes come true.    

Friends

"Oh, the comfort-the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts, nor measure words, but pouring them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together: knowing that a faithfull hand will take and sift them-keep what is worth keeping-and with the breath of kindness blow the rest away. "
-Often attributed to George Eliot or Dinah Mulock Craik

In Ireland with one of my dearest  friends  

Sea Thoughts

Sea foam like lace

Blue everywhere in many hues

Small penny rocks

Perfectly round.

Sun's heat brings a smile

to the young child and to old me.

Waves crashing drown out city sound.

The Willow

"I frequently tramped eight or ten miles through the deepest snow to keep an appointment with a beech-tree, or a yellow birch, or an old acquaintance among the pines."-  Henry David Thoreau,  1817 - 1862  

In my backyard there is an ancient willow. Its branches are like a huge aging dancer-still somewhat graceful, but sad somehow and fragile. I have a line around its trunk that stretches to a smaller maple. Clothes hang on the line and blow in the breeze. During the hurricane in August, a few branches broke off, but the tree stayed defiant, eager to prove its tenacity, shedding the dead branches like a snake shedding skin. 
The willow has a large hole at the top-created one summer day by a freak hail storm. The branch that came down was large enough to require a chainsaw to cut it down so it could be removed. The moon often fits perfectly in that space.      

Perfectionism

"Faultily, faultless, icily regular, splendidly null. dead perfectionism, no more."                                             -Alfred Tennyson (1809-1892)      



"The intellect of man is forced to choose-perfection of the life or of the work, and if it take the second, it must refuse a heavenly mansion, raging in the dark."
-William Butler Yeats (1865-1939)

I had an interesting debate with a friend about perfectionism. Her opinion in a nutshell is that doing imperfect work is not work worth doing. As for me, I love the process of creating. I don't require " oohs and aaahs" when my friends see my creations. But it got me thinking about what perfectionism is. I would much prefer that my life as a whole was at the very least perfectly satisfying, even if it was not perfect. My work will always need improvement, and hopefully as i grow, I will see improvement. But for now, I will embrace the process and be pleasantly surprised when something perfectly wonderful emerges.