Restraint

"If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal."

I Corinthians 13: 1(NIV)

Sometimes holding back or not saying or doing something can be the best way to show love. Restraint. Reeling in impulsive words before they are cast out from my mouth is often a challenge for me.

Working with children makes me very aware that what I say really does matter. Sometimes a lot. Very young children who attune better than I imagine are good at games where four or five children say their favorite color or food and then are asked what the other's choice was. In spite of the egocentric way most children relate to the world, they hear and remember things well and can easily name each of their friends favorite food-even if they have a lot of friends.

So lately, I have been trying to listen to myself more. Have I become a clanging cymbal crashing thoughtless words while others cringe at the sound? I have been famous in the past for putting my foot in my mouth. Saying something stupid or regrettable or unkind or just unnecessary? 

My Christmas gift this year to friends and family will be wrapped with a ribbon of restraint. A little less thoughtless chatter. A little less explanation. A little less resounding gong.