Imagination

     Keeping imagination in focus is another way of saying you are keeping the faith.

 "Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen ."

 -Hebrews 11:1

     Children can imagine anything. They are able to see things clearly that are out of focus for adults. Childlike faith means accepting things that are not seen as though they were visible. Working with children keeps my imagination in focus daily.
    This morning, a child who speaks limited English handed me a plastic pear and said, "Upsy-daisy. It is juicy!" I pretended to eat it as though it were really juicy and slurped and made a big deal about pretending to wipe my chin. "No! Not eat- drink it!" She didn't want me to pretend it was a real juicy pear, she wanted me to pretend it was a drink. She was taking this pretending game to a new level. In her broken English (not her first language), she was trying to say, "Drink Up! It is juice!" I thought I was pretending just fine by imagining the plastic pear to be a real one. Here was a child who could easily see a plastic pear as a drink, while her teacher was so limited in her ability to imagine much beyond taking a fake object and making it real.

    The thing about childlike faith that makes it so much better than adult-like faith is that it requires no thought or effort. Children have wonderful imaginations the way the beach has waves. The adult teacher in this story actually had to give thought to the pretending game. For the child, whose imagination is alive and well, there was almost a frustration with the teacher for not "getting" it. The child teacher taught the adult teacher a good lesson today. 

The Link

    I heard an interesting sermon last night about Joseph of Arimethea. It seems the guy was a spectator of sorts while Christ was walking on the earth. He wasn't a hardcore disciple, but one who watched from the wings. He was rich and a member of the Sanhedrin. He was opposed to putting Jesus to death, but wasn't really committed to making a loud protest. He liked what Christ taught and was pretty sure that His message was different from anything he heard before, but Joseph was rich, and not too keen on losing all he had acquired in his life. So he watched from a distance. 
     But when it came to being there when it really mattered, Joseph really stepped up to the plate when he offered his own tomb as a place to lay Jesus' body. Otherwise, the body would have been thrown on a garbage pile along with the other bodies of criminals. Like a piece of trash. A very undignified burial. So, the important role that this secret disciple played was to provide a link between death and resurrection. He was a tentative Christian, but this one act of kindness put him into history forever. He even risked his reputation by boldly going before the Roman government and requesting the body so he could place it in an unused tomb-his own. 

Now, regardless of what you believe, it is an interesting story because it illustrates that each of us has an opportunity to do something significant with their lives, even if they are not really sure just what they believe. I can relate to Joseph- not the part about being rich, but the tentative part. I am a seeker of Truth and yet, I have an analytical mind and need to test and try everything before I give myself over to it completely. I wish I was more like the Apostle Peter who just dropped his fishing net and followed Jesus without giving it a lot of thought. But even he had his moments of doubt and denied knowing Jesus three times- the third time with cursing for emphasis!

So, each act of kindness is important. Each moment of believing is important. Each move in the direction of Truth is important. There is always the possibility that what I do could be an important link between earth and sky-the present moment in time and eternity.

    

The Whisper

“Let your heart guide you. It whispers softly, so listen closely.”
Making decisions never comes without debate or
second guessing for me. I can ponder things to death sometimes.
I put weight on things that really don't matter.
 So I am beginning to quiet down and listen
closely for that whisper. That still small voice.
The peaceful knowing that comes from trust.
Trust that there is a bigger picture.
Trust that there is a master plan that doesn't
 really depend on what I do. And yet, there is always that possibility that
my decisions really do make a difference somehow.
It happened this past weekend.
I had to decide about something financial and that would
affect my living situation. In the grand scheme of things, it really wouldn't
be a decision that altered the world too drastically.
But it was important to me, so I believe it was important to God.
So, I sought His advice. And when i was on the way to the appointment, a
still small voice told me to turn around and to go back.
It can be argued that my own fears were talking. Or the voice of reason stepped in.
Either way, I turned back and cancelled the appointment. It could be argued that I
missed an adventure -or dodged a bullet. Maybe I will never know which.
But, the great thing is, I felt a gorgeous peace about my decision to turn around.
So, I am not saying that every decision I make throughout a day must wait for that
whisper, but I really want direction for the important ones. I want a dialogue- a questioning about the bigger picture. I want to include One who knows the beginning from the end to have some say in how my life goes. I want what I chose to do to matter.

January

It is snowing In Maine this morning and raining in San Diego. My home in Maine is being buried in whiteness and my California lodging is getting a much needed bath. People tell me that I have the best of both worlds-summer in Maine and winter in southern California. And I am aware of blessings always, but if it is true that home is where your heart is, I have a divided heart.
Especially on days like today when there is not such a stark difference in the two places. It feels like January here and I am sure it definitely feels like winter in Maine.
If I close my eyes, I can tell how it is at the Maine house- the rumble of the ancient furnace moving like a tired beast in the basement, the scraping of shovels and the whirr of snow blowers in the neighborhood. I can see the children sledding down the hill and the steam of breath and wood smoke coming from chimneys. I can feel the bite of wind as it hits my toes and cheeks and tips of my ears. It is not hard to imagine any of that because it was a part of most years of my life. The wintering in the warmth is new- only the past few years. The juggling of the two lives is out of necessity for health and economic reasons. It is hard to be torn at times. Things in the Maine house would be welcomed here and things here belong in Maine. I miss my Maine people when I am here and my California people when i am in Maine. But I am becoming more patient. I am filled with gratitude for this life, this divided heart, this January day. 

Still Standing

"A wind has blown the rain away and blown the sky away and all the leaves away, and the trees stand."-e.e. cummings

  "Still standing in spite of the wind!" An elderly lady I worked with in one of my first jobs used to say that when asked how she was doing. She had a bunch of similar sayings at the ready for that same question. Sometimes she would say "Able to sit up and take nourishment!" (which was a reference to a thing nurses used to say when reporting the condition of a patient). At that one she would produce a hearty laugh and not care a bit if no one else got the joke. Another one was "None the worse for the wear and tear."

So, how are you doing? 

It is amazing how few people really want to know the answer to that question. It has become a conversation starter, but the person asked is expected to say "Oh, fine!"

(Not "I am not doing well. My------died, I have pains in my------,my marriage is ------, I ---my job.") Most people don't want to hear that. Not even your best friends.  

I am noticing how many people are facing one kind of adversity or another these days. Yeah, the economy is crappy. We are getting older. The world is changing. But, there is a definite unrest going around. Like a flu virus. Hitting people suddenly and knocking them down.

Yet, I love it when I come across someone unaffected. Someone healthy and joyful in spite of the weather or the economy or the flu.

Normally, I am easily influenced by my circumstances and the weather. I take on emotional stuff that isn't mine. I get sucked into feeling blue for no reason whatsoever.

But it is possible to control my reaction to the junk around me. I can turn things around back to joy.

Sometimes I need help.

So I pray. I talk to close friends. I hang out with kids. I laugh about something I find amusing- even if no one else gets it.  I swim. I create something. I remember things.

It takes a little practice and paying attention to "whatsover things are pure, true", etc. But, the more I do it, the less I notice the wind. I feel stronger and more solid. Like a leafless tree in winter-still standing.  

Solitude

"Many men go fishing all of their lives without knowing that it is not fish they are after."

-Henry David Thoreau

The quiet lake settles down and is a mirror

The small fish swims into my hand without

the lure of bait.

I am not looking to catch a fish, but here it is small and caught anyway.

The solitude is enough. The gentle slapping of water on shore and the diamond water beckons for a final swim of the day.

I skip the tentative toe testing and dive in. Velvet blackness is warm and cool at once.

I let the fish go and he swam happily away. My back to the lake, sun setting, dripping water, shivering. Crunching rocks break the silence.    

Anyway

A few words of wisdom (courtesy Kent M. Keith, Ed.D:) because sometimes it has already been said perfectly!

"People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered.
Love them anyway.
If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives.
Do good anyway.
If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.
The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.
Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.
The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds.
Think big anyway.
People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs.
Fight for a few underdogs anyway.
What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.
People really need help but may attack you if you do help them.
Help them anyway.
Give the world the best you have and you'll get kicked in the teeth.
Give the world the best you have anyway.

Superstition

"Superstition is foolish, childish, primitive and irrational - but how much does it cost you to knock on wood?"-Judith Viorst 

Today is Friday the thirteenth and though I rarely give superstition my attention, for whatever reason, today was funky. Not really bad luck kind of funky, but somehow, out of sorts funky. On the verge of tears all day funky. Overly sad and sensitive funky.

Unrest happens to all of us. Today it happened to me in waves, and as the Santa Ana winds blew the trees and kept the temps well into the 80s all day, something felt off. Like maybe I am not where I need to be or doing what I should be doing. It is January
and my friends in Maine are shoveling and dealing with icy rain and cold, biting air. I feel a bit spoiled and though I don't miss all that winter, I feel like I am cheating by not being there scraping snow from my driveway.  But it is more than a little homesickness. Little nudges to move in a different direction come from unrest all the time. And sometimes, it is a good idea to pay attention.

So, I will knock on wood that nothing too drastic will come of all these funky feelings. I will shake it off for now and listen carefully to that still small voice and take the new day as it comes tomorrow-hopefully finding the clues to head in the right direction.    

Small Things

"In the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures. For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed." -Khalil Gibran 

Little moments in a day can be great teachers. On this particular sunny, Santa Ana day, a child cozy on my lap was playing with the embellishment on my sweater. The conversation went something like this:

Child: " I like your sweater. It is sparkly and sandy."

Me: "Thank you. I like it too. It reminds me of the beach."

(I was unable to resist it at Goodwill because it was the color of sand and was embellished with little shells and colors of the water sparkling in the sun. The child was referring not to the color, but to the fact that I had been recently building sand castles and was actually covered in bits of sand, but we both shared the idea together!)

Child: " Oh, look a little shell came off in my hand!  Can I keep this because it is very pretty and you have so many more shells and sparkles to give to other children!"

Me: "Of course you can keep the shell. It fits just right in your hand!"

Inside, I was actually a little hesitant. My first reaction as I saw that perfect little shell cradled so snugly in that perfect little hand was to ask for it back so I could sew it

in its place alongside the other little gems in the place the designer intended when she created the sweater

But I was glad that I didn't listen to that gut reaction!

Sharing the shell was so much sweeter! The child's face lit with delight and that delicious smile was the "dew of little things" where my heart found its morning-
 and was refreshed!  

Living in the Moment

"Mindfulness is the aware, balanced acceptance of the present experience. It isn't more complicated that that. It is opening to or recieving the present moment, pleasant or unpleasant, just as it is, without either clinging to it or rejecting it."

- Sylvia Boorstein

For some reason, the sun setting on a Sunday always makes me feel a bit sad. The weekend is over and work begins anew in the morning. So, I am trying to learn to live in the moment like children do. It is not so easy to enjoy the Sunday evening restlessnes, sadness, or whatever it is.
Tonight there was one visible planet- shining bright like it always has, but the sky was more ordinary than most end of the sunset skies. The darkness came quickly and the blacks and indigos took the place of the soft blues without much fanfare. The one bright star was little comfort this evening. I am working on not wanting time to go by faster or wishing that time would slow down a bit. 
Living in the moment takes some practice because for me it is much easier to daydream or ponder life than to just embrace each moment joyfully. Sunday night is for the time I prepare for the coming week and so I have a bunch of chores to do. The kind of chores that are better when you do them mindlessly.
So my experiment will be to prepare for the week with an openness I usually reserve for creative projects, not chores. I will try not to allow my thoughts to wander, but then again, maybe I will live in the moment tomorrow....   

Change

"It may be hard for an egg to turn into a bird: it would be a jolly sight harder for it to learn to fly while remaining an egg. We are like eggs at present. And you cannot go on indefinitely being just an ordinary, decent egg. We must be hatched or go bad." 

-C.S. Lewis

Wow! What a concept! Thinking about all the changes people want to make at the beginning of a new year and realizing that change is truly inevitable! We can just sit back and "go bad"-remaining stagnant or we can "hatch".

Here's the thing-how much effort does a bird make in the hatching process? Of course, he has to move around a little, squirm, stretch, and hope that the eggshell is compatible to his quest for freedom. 

There are people in my life who are always in turmoil because they want to stay in the comfort of their shell. Movement of any kind is frightening and so they curl up, refuse to stretch for fear of that shell cracking, and never learn to fly!

This year, when I see myself  leaning in that direction, I want to just move a little and see what happens. I will accept invitations, return phone calls, and speak to strangers more often. It will be a stretch for me to go to parties where there are lots of people I don't know, engage in phone calls when I would rather be creating something or sitting in the sun. Saying hello to someone new does not have to end in a forever relationship, but what if it does?

I am grateful to C.S. Lewis for many of his well written books and his joyful outlook on life, but really delighted that he thought about changes and growth in a way that helps me to see the logic and simplicity of moving forward. I see growth as a willingness to allow the process, then taking the action of pushing and stretching, and then trusting that once out of the shell, the flying will come naturally!

Peppermint Mocha Observations

It is amazing what you can observe while drinking a *peppermint mocha from the leather chair in the corner of the neighborhood coffee shop.

Today I saw:
>a small child in a full karate uniform sucking his thumb as he walked by my table (on his way to a stressful class and grabbing a small bit of comfort on the way, perhaps?)
>a runner soaked in sweat ordering a hot coffee while continuing to bounce from one foot to the other and then trying to continue his run without spilling.
>an older woman dressed in an exquisite pair of thigh high patent leather boots (in spite of the facial wrinkles telling her age, actually sort of pulling off the look!)

I overheard (not by choice):
> an angry, one-sided cell phone call
>a man listing (for over an hour) all the things he disliked about his wife to another woman
>two friends reuniting after a long time and sharing all the news of who was dead, sick, dying of cancer, divorced, and looking for work. They had no idea how loudly they were talking. I was glad I was from another town and didn't know any of those people! In some cases, they used first and last names of people without even a clue that someone related could have been sitting at the next table!
>a businessman ordering high tech products with lots of code numbers and acronyms by cell phone
>a well-dressed man calling his wife to say he was still at the office and would be home late (how did he account for the Miles Davis playing in the background?)
>a young mom asking her toddlers what they wanted and becoming increasingly frustrated when they couldn't decide between chocolate milk and hot chocolate

After a while, I tuned out everything except for Miles Davis and closed my eyes while the peppermint and chocolate flavors lingered in my mouth.

(*Espresso, steamed milk, mocha sauce and peppermint flavored syrup, topped with sweetened whipped cream and dark chocolate curls)

The Future???

For a few quarters I could have gotten Zoltan to tell me my future. I was out of quarters when I saw this funny machine in the lobby of a fast food place. It might have been fun to lose a few quarters to see if the machine was even still working. I imagined that whatever came out printed on paper would be similar to a fortune cookie.
 Anyway, they say that a lot of those things become self-fulfilling prophecy and you think about whatever the fortune says and make it happen for yourself by merely believing. 
I am not sure of these things. The future seems uncertain this year. Changes have been forced on me-partly because of the economy and partly because of  choices made in the past that were without the benefit of Zoltan's knowledge of the future of real estate or stocks.
 Who knows what this year will bring? The Mayans calendar says the world will end this year and if they are right, there's a lot of living to do between now and December.   
Every moment we live is a gift. And not even Zoltan can tell me how many moments are left in my life account. So, each day, I accept the grace, the strength, the joy, the decisions, and the surprises that are presented to me.
Trying always to find the balance between doing the work at hand and resting in the work already done.  And finding balance between doing and waiting, dreaming and living in the present, and paying attention to important stuff and trashing the junk not worth keeping.