Patterns

"Life is a process of working out what's not working for you and disentangling yourself from it and trying then not walk into the same thing again. Watching your patterns and correcting them if you can." -Siobhan Fahey 

So... when I keep repeating the same mistakes and finding myself right back where I started, I have got to wonder just when I will learn my lessons! Sometimes I feel like I am in that movie Groundhog Day. Especially here in Maine, where life moves along at its own pace, and things stay the same for a long time.

I am caught in an inter-generational living situation that is from necessity and not choice. Because of the economy, I have had to make hard decisions about how and where I live. 

I have had to make accomodations for others also facing hard times.

And helping family members is what family is all about. But I guess I want it to be more temporary and not a long-term thing.

 Yes, everything is more expensive, and yes, it is harder to get and keep a good paying job these days. I know that is true, but I am working on breaking some patterns that have kept me in this unsettled place. I am learning to get rid of the excuses for not trying something new. I am exploring a wider range of options. I am curious about what it would take for me to make a career change at this point in my life. I am thinking about joining the Peace Corp. I am contemplating selling my house and moving to someplace new. I guess it is a typical response to mid-life to want to break old patterns and create something entirely new. The desire is there, and quite possibly the courage.    

The process of disentangling will be a good project for this beginning of May. My goal is to try one new thing each day this month. Something out of my comfort zone, something unusual, something unique.