Thanks Giving

" A shaft of sunlight at the end of a dark afternoon, a note of music, and the way the back of a baby’s neck smells if it’s mother keeps it tidy,” answered Henry.
“Correct,” said Stuart. “Those are the important things. You forgot one thing, though. Mary Bendix, what did Henry Rackmeyer forget?”
“He forgot ice cream with chocolate sauce on it,” said Mary quickly.”  
-E.B. White, From Stuart Little

 Thanksgiving -a time to reflect on what there is to be thankful for.
For me, it is the little things- and especially the important things.
I am grateful for a shaft of sunlight at the end of a dark afternoon.
I am truly thankful for many of the notes in music I have heard over the years.
And, oh yes-that sweet smell of a clean baby.
 And ice cream-gelato precisely!

This year I earned much less than in years past. -probably the year of my lowest earnings since my teen years, and yet, I am eternally grateful for provision. It has been a tough year job-wise, and yet I have never gone hungry, been homeless, or gone without anything that was important. It has been truly amazing So, I am grateful this Thanksgiving for health and answered prayer and the songs of a child. I taught a three-year old the song with the words-  "pick yourself up, and dust yourself off, and start all over again!" and she sings it all the time now. To me! When I need to hear it most. All things to be grateful for.

Vanishing Point

“How can I tell what I think until I see what I say?”
― David Markson, Vanishing Point    


Once again, we hit the road heading West
to escape the harshness of winter.
Leaving home was especially emotional this year-
more uncertainty than usual.
This year, all I know is that
there is a wedding we must attend in Las Vegas.

 After that, anything can happen.
Job offers are scarce this year,
 but we have always managed to survive winters past.
 I am certain that this year will be no exception.

Leaving behind a cozy home 
is freeing and uncomfortable
all at once.

Always a challenge to bring the right things
and leave the unnecessary behind.
Spending 4-6 months on the run
from Old Man Winter
can seem like an adventure,
and somehow we have always managed to outsmart him.

Aging makes me realize that each year I
have to try harder to adapt and dance and smile and
live in the moment.

But I do adapt and dance and smile and live in the moment-
because this moment is the what I have
and all that is certain.

Maine June

 

                     Magnificent bloom-the way the light flows through translucent petals

 

 

                               Lupines and wildflower

 

 

 

And lilacs in a green vase reflected on my grandmother's mirrored table .

 

 

 

 

March

New pink buds appear on the peach tree.

The fragrance from the lemon tree is sweet and pungent at the same time.

Wind lovingly messes the hair of the palm in front of deep blue.

Pale blue  against green in several hues.

Plants set outside adjust to the outdoor temperatures and respond cheerfully.

"It was one of those March days when the sun shines hot and the wind blows cold:When it is summer in the light, and winter in the shade."

-Charles Dickens

This is March and soon Spring will replace winter. That always make me happy because try as I might, I really don't like winter. 

Soon, I will experience the East Coast version of Spring. But for now, I will bask in the warmth and enjoy the subtle changes of this most lovely slight rotation of the Earth's axis.

"Every day that is born into the world comes like a burst
of music and rings the whole day through, and you will make of it a dance, a dirge, or a life march, as you will"
-Thomas Carlyle

"The day is ending,
The night is descending;
The marsh is frozen,
The river dead.

Through clouds like ashes
The red sun flashes
On village windows
That glimmer red."
-  Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, Afternoon in February 

February is a melancholy month. A time when winter grips hard and doesn't want to let go. Snow and slush and cold and wind and illness and travel that is difficult and it all is the same every February. I want to hibernate like a bear and only come out when the winds die down and the sun shines warm and the small white flowers show sweet promise.

But life goes on and life requires motion-even in February! So I push through and get up and move and strip the bed and throw the blankets and sheets into the washer so I can't just crawl back in and waste away my day. Each day that I move-even a little- I am moving closer to Spring, to the orange poppies and purple iris-still waiting for me there in that small garden just behind my back door-now hidden under that soggy white blanket of half-melted snow.

Train Window

"It was morning; through the high window I saw the pure, bright blue of the sky as it hovered cheerfully over the long roofs of the neighboring houses. It too seemed full of joy, as if it had special plans, and had put on its finest clothes for the occasion. "
Herman Hesse

I took the train from LA to San Diego and saw some amazing things-people, mostly, going about their business, plodding through another day, or joyfully embracing it! 

People waiting, oblivious to the signs-Look! Restrooms! Six papers full of words! Color everywhere!

 

No swimming today! Though the waves look so inviting! Empty sand begging for barefoot toes!

 

 

 

Fade to black and white!

Appreciation

 

"I’m grateful for being here, for being able to think, for being able to see, for being able to taste, for appreciating love – for knowing that it exists in a world so rife with vulgarity, with brutality and violence, and yet love exists. I’m grateful to know that it exists."

-Maya Angelou

 

This is how I have felt for the past few weeks. In spite of the circumstances, and the helplessness I have felt at times, somehow, knowing the love from my wonderful family and incredible friends in a very real way.

Trials are about remembering what is important-getting perspective. Still, I would like to be able to bask a little, enjoy the end of one trial before another begins. In my life, they tend to be back to back -one of top of another-no real break

But the beauty is, I am noticing the whole of life as a gift-not just the series of troubles and questions with no answers, but as breathing and smiling and running when I can, and dancing-with or without the music playing. 

Peace Like a River

Peace like a river — how refreshing that stream — that calms us, like a wondering dream.
This week I got one of those phone calls that every parent dreads. My son had been stabbed in New York City on New Year's Eve. The details are fuzzy-because my son was walking home and felt someone behind him and then the next thing he knew, he was in the hospital with multiple stab wounds.

One of the hardest things about this East Coast/ West Coast life is that I always seem to be on the wrong coast at the wrong time. I had no resources to just jump on  a plane and run to his rescue. I had to wait and trust and pray-something much easier in theory than in reality. My family and friends living on the East Coast stood at the ready to gather my son up and take him somewhere safe for healing. Daily phone calls helped because I could tell at the moment he answered the phone by the tone of his voice how he was doing. I still want to get back there and help and make him dinner and check the stitches to make sure they are not infected. But here I am, doing helping of a different kind.

And through this entire week, with the exception of a few anxious moments in the middle of the night, I had peace. Peace like a river. I had no idea how things would turn out, so I had to rest. And pray for wisdom. And then, strangers who let me know that my son was in their prayers asked me how they could help. It is so heart-warming to have family and friends who know my son reach out. But it was the kindness of strangers that made me so grateful for the goodness still very apparent in this world.

This morning, when I spoke to my son, he said he is hoping to go back to work next week. I am hopeful that the healing continues-body, mind, and spirit. 
I am still at the ready to do whatever it is that needs doing, but in this week, I learned that there are some circumstances where God can handle the big stuff on His own.
My job is to take care of the tasks at hand and seek wisdom, and enjoy the peace that comes when you least expect it!