Halloween!

Halloween is here! The night where people get to look scary things in the eye and laugh! It is a night for fun, for dressing up and trick-or-treating, for dabbling on the dark side. And for candy. Lots of candy.


I had a friend who loved Halloween so very much because of the candy. It was her favourite holiday because there were no family obligations, she could be anyone she wanted AND have a bag of candy to eat from for weeks. When her parents told she was too old for trick-or-treating, she cried.


But to me, Halloween is all about embracing fear. We go out into the dark night in disguise. We are not fooling anyone. The ghouls and goblins and zombies are still there. But for this one night we are fearless. The Halloweens of my youth were filled with laughter and chocolate and silly (most often homemade) costumes, but the idea that we could tromp about in groups and ask strangers for candy was the opposite of all that "stranger-danger", never take candy from strangers stuff we had been force-fed all of our young lives.
Kids today are sheltered from the trick-or-treating my generation enjoyed. They go to Harvest Festivals and Fall Carnivals so that there are no drugs or razor blades in their candy. Even the "scary" rooms or rides at these carnivals are funnier than scary. When kids are allowed to trick-or-treat, it is usually only in a sheltered neighborhood, or kids are driven across town to show Grammy and Grampa the costumes. It is an end of an era. Some mean old ghouls spoiled the fun for this generation.

Still, it is a fun holiday and should be celebrated as the opportunity it is where children can face down the dark night in their new identities. All the while filling their mouths with sugar, chocolate, and laughter.

                                                      HAPPY HALLOWEEN! 

Helpless

   
"I pray because I can’t help myself. I pray because I’m helpless. I pray because the need flows out of me all the time, waking and sleeping. It doesn’t change God, it changes me. -CS Lewis

Hurricane Sandy is hammering the East Coast with strong winds and snow and flooding, causing power outages and death. It is a Tuesday morning and my two children are in Maine and New York City. I feel helpless in North Carolina-unable to do my best to keep them safe. Halloween is tomorrow and the new President of the United States will be chosen one week from today.I had a job interview today that didn't feel promising and all of this together makes me feel helpless. It is a strange way to end a month and to begin a new adventure.  

Discovery

There is clearing in the woods across the street from our house. Someone bought a narrow strip of land that had been on the market for a while and have begun cutting down trees so they can build a house. So we went for a walk to check out the progress and to introduce ourselves to the new neighbors.

    There was a glint of something shiny and we kept walking because the new neighbors weren't there. Amazingly, there is a lovely little body of water bigger than a small pond but smaller than a lake-only yards from our front door.

In all the time that we have lived in our house, we never knew it was there! It was quiet except for the birdsong and frog peeping, and lush with color!

 

“One of the advantages of being disorderly is that one is constantly making exciting discoveries". A.A. Milne

So we went to tell our friends about our wonderful discovery. And this is their reply:

"Oh, that old beaver bog? What you never knew that was there? Why, it has been there for ages!"

Autumn Approaching

The light is different

Shadows take new shapes

Color is emerging slowly

                     Gardens are getting ready for slumber

Tomato plants laden and chairs hold the ones we will eat tonight

                 A cloud angel hovers over the house-
                                the only white in a clear blue sky.

Aging

"The great thing about getting older is that you don't lose all the other ages you've been."-- Madeleine L'Engle

A friend sent this photo and at first I didn't recognize myself. I instantly saw the wrinkles and the graying hair, the sagging neck, and sorrow behind the eyes. The me I want to be is younger and smoother and joyful.



Like how I looked when I graduated from high school (minus the braces on my teeth!)



 But that was 40 years ago!

 I recently attended my 40th high school reunion and realized that decades have passed and there is so much time unaccounted for! While I was living out my life, time was taking its toll.

I carry within me my first decade- my childhood surrounded by sisters and laughter and summers at the lake. Second decade- joy and sorrow and teenage goofiness. Decade three spent forming a family, trying to survive, making sense of my place, finding creativity, growing up. The fourth and fifth decades spent mostly exploring and re-positioning my ideals and longings. Now, as I quickly approach the sixth decade, age is trying to make its claim. Mostly, I try not to think about it. I try to do things that make me feel ageless, like swimming, working with children,  and dancing alone to the music of Van Morrison in my living room. But this photo unretouched by photo shop tells the real story. And it is really OK. Because with the passage of time has come experience, gain and loss, joy and sorrow, many precious friends and memories, and a life lived

 simply and authentically .       

Cracking

"There is a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in."-Leonard Cohen

 

 

 

The light this summer has been amazing! With so many sunny days, the shadows and light have been entertaining me on a daily basis. I looked at this sidewalk and realized that the light was making each brick nearly glow. The summer is coming to a close and I can feel Autumn settling in. Things are shifting-decisions about the winter must be made soon. I never really know how (or where) things will play out. But, I know that I have made it safely through 58 winters. All my needs have been met more graciously , more often, and more surprisingly than I deserve. This winter will be no different-though tugs of uncertainty and new situations are making me a bit edgy and anxious. There is also a feeling of anticipation and resting.  What adventure awaits???

 

 

 

 

 

 

"If instead of a gem, or even a flower, we should cast the gift of a loving thought into the heart of a friend, that would be giving as the angels give."-George MacDonald

 

 

Lately I have been thinking about the people in my life, how thankful I am for each of them, reading some of my old George MacDonald books, and finding joy in unexpected places.

It has been a different summer than last year, busier, and without as many opportunities to get alone and lost in my thoughts. But the precious moments I have had to find solitude, I am happy to send loving thoughts on to the friends who have made me laugh, listened patiently to my stories, fed me good food, and encouraged me when I was overwhelmed. Rather than just randomly say a silent prayer for their well-being, or to send out an all-inclusive thank you to friends who read this, i want to begin a new ritual. Beginning next week, I will "real mail" a card or letter to the friend who comes into my mind that day. It is a good way to let them know just how important their presence is in my life. It is not enough to just think the good thoughts, but as an act- a casting of the gift of loving thoughts. Thanks George, for the good advice!