November

Within and Without: A Dramatic Poem Part III
And weep not, though the Beautiful decay...
Within thy heart, as daily in thine eyes;
Thy heart must have its autumn, its pale skies,
Leading, mayhap, to winter's dim dismay.
Yet doubt not. Beauty doth not pass away;
Her form departs not, though her body dies.
Secure beneath the earth the snowdrop lies,
Waiting the spring's young resurrection-day,
Through the kind nurture of the winter cold.
Nor seek thou by vain effort to revive
The summer-time, when roses were alive;
Do thou thy work-be willing to be old:
Thy sorrow is the husk that doth infold
A gorgeous June, for which thou need'st not strive
                                            -George MacDonald


what more can I say? this expresses all that is tangled inside. 

September Rain

     

"Alas!       How  easily things go wrong!
	A sigh too deep, or a kiss too long,
	Ant then comes a mist and a weeping rain,
	And life is never the same again. "                        -George MacDonald The world is in such a state that the weeping rain outside my window seems to be the appropriate soundtrack. Crazy evil in Europe and the Middle East-satisfying, fulfilling prophecy, some would say-so many young people dying senselessly, needlessly, wasting potential and health, and goodness that this world could use a lot more of. People in exile walking from country to country in hopes of better, safer, and more normal lives.   Others staying put, and enduring much- hoping the rescuers will come and the bombing will stop. So normal can be meal-preparation and scolding the children, and complaining about laundry. But normal for now is walking many miles in rain and with hunger-toward a new beginning and away from what was known And meanwhile the Pope comes to America and so does the tsar of Russia and the President of China- emerging all on soil of a people who have lost interest. For now, as long as there is a normal that includes soccer, and Halloween costume shopping and video games, there is no need to notice that things are changing everywhere and maybe even here. The gloomy world news and the gloomy day make me think about hope and sunshine and redemption. Eternal things "Sun's up, uuh huh, looks okay. The world survives into another day. And I'm thinking about eternity. " -Bruce Cockburn song spinning around in my head because really on days like today, it is perfectly acceptable to daydream about eternity. When there are no more reports of man's inhumanity to man, or cancer in babies and young mothers, stabbings, or poverty. It is okay to dream of something better and less messy. The rain will eventually stop, the news can just be turned off for now, but with September's end comes colorful October and a last chance for warm days before winter sets in with its unforgiving biting wind. Usually gloomy days don't inspire me- I want to sleep and read and drink tea and eat not because I am hungry but because I need comforting- as we all do these days.

Day Light Ending

T

There is that light at the end of the day- you know what I mean-It is sad and yet hopeful -the shadows move -dance even.

I took a walk around the house at dusk and there were smells of fresh mown grass and budding flowers.


The lilacs have gone brown, but new irises appear.





Little chippy peeks out to pose for a photo. He loves the seeds the birds drop from the feeder.
Even he knows about the light at the end of the day. Basking in that light for just a minute more, then he scurries back into his hiding place-cheeks stuffed- ready for evening rest.

April Come What May

April already!

Snow bird must fly home
To winter still
Unrelenting this year

Managing to escape its icy grip
Leaves me grateful and a little guilty.

The rose garden is so  pleasant to look at until
the thorn jabs deep into skin
Hold on to its beauty and
Taking home the thought of it
When there is all that white upon arrival. 

the yellows and reds and deep green 
I leave behind for now.

The long road ahead
Weary at just thought
the desserts and plains and mountains and prairies and
all that must be crossed before home
emerges white and eager.

Goodbye 2014

   These trees taken from a fast moving car blur like the year just gone past.

Dec 31 2014

Here it is the last day of the year and I am not writing out resolutions this year- seeking rather to find REAL SOLUTIONS for my life- breaking away from oppression and all the other things that weigh me down and keep me from flying-

I would like to say that I am fine, but my health and my dreams tell me that I am not. I have many unresolved issues in my life and relationships that need to be forsaken. I have dreams to make real and life changes to make happen. But I will not make any resolutions this year. I want to live in the moment;  And this moment, cold and windy in Las Vegas, is where I am now. Once more, living not in my own home, but as a guest in another home-waiting for the chance to be restored to my own, which is now cold and closed up-waiting patiently for my return.

 

And in this moment, there is a flu bug to defeat. A nasty invasion that demands my attention and clogs my thinking. And at this moment, there is a new year to contemplate. A year of hopeful changes, and perhaps an end to all this nomadic living. A time to settle down and stay in one place for a change.

 

Thankful for all the good things that happened in 2014, but also thankful that this year is over. 

 

No more waxing poetic or  trying to make sense of the things that didn't make sense or work out, or come together. Instead, moving on, picking myself up, dusting myself off and starting all over again.

 

Welcome 2015!  I hope you bring joy, and peace, and wisdom, and fun, and new experiences!

I hope you treat this old warrior kindly! Bring me what you will, and take from me what needs to go away, and hold me up, and if you do your best, I will not make a resolve to do my best

I will live each moment as it comes, and hope to look back next year with a smile!

In Love with the Light

"Light is good company, when alone; I took my comfort where I found it,"
   Aimee Bender, The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake


This lovely September light has been my companion these past few days. I have enjoyed her company immensely. I have greedily taken these days of summer's end to spend in solitude, reflecting, pondering, waiting, searching for answers, and sleeping soundly like a cat on a window sill in the afternoon while the sun filters through the curtains and wraps me up like burrito safe and warm.

  

 
Sapphire and diamond skies this September afternoon


Shadows dance 
Wind keeps time
leaves wave like the
Queen from the back of the coach

 

 

Six Decades on Planet Earth

Six decades
living and being
part of sunlight and clouds
and happy and sad and surprised
so much of good and bad
 but
still so much left to learn and
still so sheltered in so many ways.

I am stubborn and tenacious and gentle and creative and
flawed and feisty and graceful and clumsy.
But here, nonetheless, for the ones who want or need
my presence and presents and patience.
I have had adventures and people who have come and gone.
I am happy about the ones who have stayed all along-
for the ride, for the food, for the laughs, for the words of comfort,
for whatever it was they got that they needed from me at the time.

Simplicity and wonder are what I am-for what it is worth.
money or success hasn't been a motivator so there wasn't much of that
in these six decades, but what has been necessary has been there always!

the world has changed a lot in these sixty years.
I saw a lot of beauty fade from the earth.
New inventions seem confusing and sometimes unnecessary to me.
why haven't there been cures or improvements in all this time?

-lately
it seems like we as the human race are walking backwards
when I see the news I am not seeing evolving or tolerance
or any move toward peace.

But in spite of this, I am an optimist
and have thought about the end of the story- mine as well as the earth's.
I am hoping that in the next six decades there will be
renaissance, cures, tolerance, beauty, joy, and less anger.

But then, I was born during a hurricane.
I know what winds of change can do.

I have lived sixty years,
and I have learned that hope is one of the great gifts

But I don't know everything yet.